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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Republicans, Form Like... Rudimitt McPaulabeeson!

by Jay Allbritton
A New York Times/CBS News poll shows that none of the members of the field contending for the Republican nomination for President managed to crack fifty percent approval with Republican voters. Each candidate has a fatal flaw that would be political death in a stronger field. None of these candidates seem likely to win the race.

However, if some magician were to come along and create a single candidate culled from each of the candidates strengths, a devastating political juggernaut could emerge--Rudimitt McPaulabeeson. A Republican Voltron. A Compassionate Conservative Christian killing machine.

The candidate would have Rudy Giuliani's fake mythology, Mitt Romney's hair, John McCain's war hero credentials, Huckabee's Theology degree and breezy comic timing, Ron Paul's stance on the war and his faithful internet donors.

Fred Thompson's... Uh...

Unfortunately for Republicans, Dr. Rev. Rudimitt McPaulabeeson would still get crushed by every Democrat.

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