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Sunday, May 04, 2008

The Nexus of Axe Body Spray and Politics

by Tommy Christopher
Here's the backstory on my relationship with the folks at Axe Body Spray, and my recent attempt to "throw game at a hot girl." I made a wisecrack about Obama gaining with women because of the "Axe Effect" in this article:Gallup: Obama Gaining With Women. Apparently, an executive at their PR firm saw it, and she sent me an email with this hilarious picture. I got the email while I was doing the Super Tuesday Democratic Live Thread, so I mentioned it there, and they sent me a bunch of free stuff, including an Axe lanyard that I used for my press credentials in Philly.

So, every once in awhile, I drop an Axe reference into a story, when it's organic and it feels right. The product is in keeping with my playboy lifestyle and hot-guy ethos. They sent me a 4-pack this week of something called "The Axe Bullet."

It's a little, portable thing of Axe. So, I went to try one out, expecting it to squirt out a little, like a pump-spray cologne bottle, but it came blasting out like jetwash and scared the shit out of me. My kids pointed and laughed at me, but luckily there were no honeys around to witness my humiliation.

Included with the "Bullets" was a personal note and a business card from the girl at Axe's PR firm whom I've been emailing with. "Game on," I thought.

So, I called her up this week, thinking it would be nice for her to put a voice to the face, and maybe I could "throw some game" at her. I figured she'd be some husky-voiced cougar, eager for a tasty morsel like me, but she actually sounded really young. First rule of throwin' game is not to ask how old they are, though.

We talked for awhile, and of course I was witty and awesome, and pretty soon, I got the feeling she was throwing game at me!

We made plans to hang out next time she's in the area, and I tossed off the smoothest bon mot I could think of. "I promise to be a gentleman and not wear any Axe Body Spray when I meet you."

So, you tell me. How was my game?

Here's what a fucking liberal I am, though. When I first found out that Axe was checking me out, I got all conflicted, like, "I don't know about this. Isn't that whole 'lad-mag' ethos a tad objectifying?"

I'm not even shitting you, I wrestled with it. I concluded that Axe walks the line of parodying the male ego and it's simplistic view of women, while making the point that you shouldn't walk around all stinky. Plus, the stuff does smell great. My favorite is "Vice," but here's a little tip for Axe's marketing department, along with Emeril LaGasse: I'm not really comfortable with spraying something on myself called "Essence." Maybe that's just me.

PS This story is written in a "satirical voice." Please lighten up for 2 seconds before you make your comments, OK?**

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