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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

One Last Outburst Before I Keep It Cool

by Jay Allbritton
When I heard about Sarah Palin's attack on Barack Obama yesterday, my initial response was:
Bill Ayers! Bill Ayers! Are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit? Sarah Palin is going to come around here talking shit like she doesn't have a voodoo witch doctor medicine man and an Alaskan Separatist group in her closet?
That rant went on at great length, meandering into and out of scenes from Glen Garry Glen Ross. It's a day later, and not only am I still pissed--even though I know that this childish bullshit from the McCain campaign represents its death throes--though I know that going off half cocked is the last thing I want Barack Obama to do, so I feel compelled to maintain my composure as well.

But this is the blogosphere. This is where shit-talkers reign supreme. We can say anything, no matter how angry or crazy it comes off to anyone who happens to read it. That's why I came here in the first place. At the time, I was so god damned angry about where five years of the Bush administration had left this country I was preaching at friends and relatives who thought I was crazy. I was. And thankfully having a blog helped. Watching the country immediately embrace the idea that the President was a stupid piece of crap at the same time I started blogging helped so much. Very therapeutic.

But what's really soothing my soul these days if the clear fact that we're going to win. So I'm not going to do what everyone thought Tom Cruise was going to do when he was fired in the movie Jerry McGuire and FREAK OUT. I just want to know one thing. Who's coming with me? I'm getting all my angst out in this post, and I want to know who's going to come with me, because after this, I for one, am going to emulate Barack and remain cool for the remainder of the campaign, unless this thing goes into overtime, then I can't promise anything.

Dr. Monkey's coming with me (well, for the sake of this post, I'm taking him with me, because the man has a good point about a washed up asshole actor). The good doctor has a message for one Jon Voight that I would like to echo:
Hey dumbass, most of us out here in the flyover states aren't scared of a black President, but we are scared of a nutty old coot who's had more cancer than he'll admit to and his wolf shooting Pentecostal running mate who hasn't read a fucking book in years. You may be scared of a black guy who is going to raise your taxes Mr. Movie Star, but we're not.
Yeah, fuck you Jon Voight. And futhermore, you sucked in Transformers.

God, I feel better.

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